The Con

Episode 5 — The Con

Con artists aren’t always strangers—sometimes they’re people you’ve trusted for years. In Episode 5, I share a personal story about a childhood friend, a $25,000 deception, and a situation that nearly turned deadly. More importantly, we break down how trust can be manipulated, the red flags you shouldn’t ignore, and why trust—but verify is essential on your path to success and wealth.

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Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back everyone to Tangee for your success and wealth. There are con artists everywhere. Some are strangers, some are people you meet in business, some present themselves as successful, wealthy, connected, or influential. But sometimes the most dangerous con artist is someone you already trust. Someone you've known for years. In my case, it was a childhood friend. He came to me needing $25,000. He told me his house was going into foreclosure and that his wife and kids were about to lose their home. But that wasn't the truth. And what started as a request for money eventually became one of the most dangerous situations I've ever experienced. This episode is about the con, how deception works, why trust can make us ignore red flags, and why becoming successful requires knowing not only who to connect with, but who not to trust. In the last episode, The 1%, I talked about the importance of getting yourself into the right rooms and connecting yourself with successful and wealthy people. But there's another side to being connected. You have to know who you're connecting yourself to. There's a fine line between getting connected to people who can genuinely open doors for you and exposing yourself to people who only appear successful, wealthy, or connected. Because some people aren't trying to help you get into the room. They're trying to get into your wallet. And sometimes the person running the con isn't a stranger. Sometimes it's somebody you've trusted for years. The con. There's a quote that's often attributed to Mark Twain. It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they've been fooled. Whether Mark Twain actually said it isn't what's important. What's important is the idea behind it. Because after someone realizes that they've been conned, one of the first reactions is often silence. You don't want anybody to know. You start asking yourself, How did I not see this? Why did I believe that person? Why didn't I recognize the red flags? And that's exactly why con artists can be so effective. They don't always attack your intelligence. They attack your trust. And once trust has been established, you may stop asking the questions you would normally ask. That's when the con becomes much easier. This is particularly important to what we've been discussing here on Tang Gi. In episode four, the 1%, I talked about getting yourself into the right rooms and connecting yourself with successful and wealthy people. But there's another side to that. There's a fine line between connecting yourself with people who can genuinely help you grow and exposing yourself to people who only look successful. Some people become extremely good at presenting an image money, connections, influence, opportunity, success. But behind that image can be something completely different. Their objective isn't necessarily to create something with you. It may be to take something from you. That's why you need checks and balances regarding who you follow, who you listen to, who you do business with, and especially who you give your money to. And I learned that lesson in a way I never expected. The $25,000 request. I want to tell you a personal story. A childhood friend came to me and told me he desperately needed $25,000. According to him, he had fallen behind on his mortgage. His house was supposedly heading towards foreclosure. His family could lose everything. But understand something. That wasn't somebody I'd met six months earlier. I'd known him since we were about seven years old. We grew up together. My family knew him. My parents had helped him when we were kids. So when he came to me, there was already something incredibly valuable established between us. Trust. That's what made what happened possible. Eventually, I discovered that the story he told me wasn't true. According to what I later learned, the $25,000 wasn't for his mortgage. He owed the money elsewhere and was in serious trouble with some bad people. And when I refused to give him the money, everything changed. I later learned that he blamed me for what happened afterward. His family had to leave their home. They went into hiding. And somehow, in his mind, because I hadn't come through with the money, I was responsible. Several months later he called me. We talked for more than an hour. I asked him how his wife and kids were doing. He told me the kids were getting used to their situation, but his wife was having a difficult time. And during that conversation, we patched things up, or at least I thought we did. When trust becomes the weapon. Growing up, we'd gone shooting together. So one day, when he invited me to go to an indoor shooting range with him, it wasn't unusual. He told me his friend was the manager and that we could get into the range about an hour before it opened to the public. I agreed. I picked him up at the hotel where he was staying. I said hello to his wife and kids, and on the drive over we talked about our childhood, the stupid things we'd done, the trouble we'd gotten into, the things we could laugh about now. I'd known this guy practically my entire life. We rode bikes together, we got into trouble together, we went shooting together, my parents fed him and looked out for him. I never looked down on him because his family didn't have what ours had. There was history between us. And looking back, that's what makes what happened next so difficult for me to understand. We arrived at the shooting range early, his friend, the manager, was there. But almost immediately something didn't feel right. I noticed that the surveillance monitors weren't on, the manager wasn't really making eye contact with me, and then I looked at my friend, he was filling out the paperwork, and he was sweating, his hand was shaking, something inside me started telling me, pay attention. But I still had no reason to believe that someone I'd known since I was seven years old intended to hurt me. We went into the range, I started loading my beretta, and then I felt something at the back of my head. I realized my childhood friend is standing behind me with a 357 Magnum pointed at the back of my head. He told me, don't move. And I asked him one question. Why? I wasn't asking why I shouldn't move. I was asking, why are you doing this? He didn't answer. I could hear his breathing getting heavier. My mind was racing, and I remember telling him, Your kids are gonna miss you. I wanted him to think about what was going to happen to his own children if he went through with this. Then I felt the barrel move slightly, and in that instant, I reacted. I knocked the gun away from my head, and the gun went off. The shot went past my face. The blast damaged my right eardrum, and then we were fighting. We went to the ground, and at that point, this wasn't about friendship. It wasn't about $25,000, it wasn't about what had happened between us. It was about one thing, survival. Eventually, I was able to gain control of the situation. I grabbed the firearms and got out of the range. And when I reached the lobby, the manager was gone. The same manager who had led us into that shooting range before it opened was nowhere to be found. I didn't know what he knew. I didn't know what he'd been told, and I didn't know why he'd left. All I knew was I needed to get out of there. So I got into my truck and drove. I was so shaken that I went through a red light, I got on the freeway to head home and somehow drove past my exit and just kept driving. Eventually, I ended up all the way at Santa Monica Beach. I hadn't even realized how far I'd gone. That's how much my mind was racing. I kept replaying everything that had happened, and I kept coming back to one question. Why? Why would someone I'd known since I was seven years old do this? Someone I considered a friend, someone my parents welcomed into our home, someone I trusted. And there's something I've never talked about publicly before. I've never told my wife, I've never told my kids, I never reported what happened to the police, and many years later, I still don't have all the answers. For years I went back and forth between anger, pity, and wanting revenge. Eventually I chose none of them. I never contacted him again. I never went looking for an explanation, and I don't need one anymore because there's something I understand today that I didn't understand then. Sometimes closure isn't getting an answer from the person who betrayed you. Sometimes closure is deciding that they no longer get access to your life. And that's where the story connects back to the con. Because when we hear the words con artist, we tend to picture a stranger. Some slick talking guy trying to sell you something, someone running a financial scam, someone pretending to be somebody they're not. But that's not always how the con begins. Sometimes it begins with something much more powerful a trust. And sometimes the person exploiting that trust isn't somebody you just met. It's somebody who spent years earning it. The anatomy of a con. So let's break this down. Because looking back, the con didn't begin when he asked me for the $25,000. It began with trust. He wasn't a stranger calling me with some unbelievable investment opportunity. This was somebody I'd known since childhood, and that history gave him something a stranger wouldn't have had. Credibility. At least with me, first came trust. Our history caused me to evaluate what he was telling me through the lens of friendship instead of skepticism. And that's important because sometimes the longer you've known somebody, the less likely you are to question them. You think, why would he lie to me? I've known this guy my whole life. And that's exactly when your guard can come down. Then came the emotional story. He wasn't asking me for $25,000 to start a business. He told me his house was in trouble, his family could lose their home, his wife and kids could be displaced. Now you're no longer making a purely financial decision. You're making an emotional decision. And emotion creates urgency. You stop asking, does this make sense? And you start asking, how can I help? That's a different question. Then came the amount, $25,000. And here's something important. I didn't even have the entire $25,000 readily available at that time. To give him what he wanted, I would have had to borrow part of the money myself. Think about that. I would have been putting myself into debt to solve somebody else's financial emergency. That wasn't even what he represented it to be. Then came the red flags, and this is where you have to slow everything down. When somebody wants your money and the story isn't adding up, stop. When the explanation changes, stop. When you're being pressured to act before you can verify what you're being told, stop. Because urgency can prevent you from thinking clearly. And here's a principle I want you to remember. Their emergency does not have to become your emergency. You can care about somebody, you can want to help them, you can even love them, but none of those things required you to abandon your judgment. And then came the blame. When I didn't provide the money, somehow his financial decisions became my responsibility. His problems became my responsibility. The consequences of decisions I didn't make became my fault. That's manipulation. Because the con artist needs you to accept their version of reality. And as long as you accept the story, they control the situation. But the moment you start asking questions, the moment you start verifying, the moment you say no, you may find out very quickly what kind of relationship you actually have. And that's why one of the most powerful words you can learn to use on your road to success and wealth is a very simple one. No. No, I'm not giving you money until I understand where it's going. No, I'm not investing because you told me I have to decide today. No, I'm not signing something I haven't read. No, I'm not doing business with somebody simply because a friend vouched for them. No, I'm not ignoring red flags because I don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. And no, your emergency is not automatically my financial responsibility. That's not being selfish. That's having checks and balances. And the more successful you become, the more important those checks and balances become. Because success doesn't just attract opportunity, it attracts people who want access to your opportunity. Trust but verify. This is where episode five connects directly to the three keys of Tanji intelligent, focused, connected. Episode four was about becoming connected, getting into the right rooms, building relationships, creating opportunities. But being connected without being intelligent can be dangerous because getting into the right room doesn't mean everybody in that room is the right person. Being wealthy doesn't automatically make somebody trustworthy. Driving an expensive car doesn't make somebody successful. Wearing an expensive watch doesn't make somebody financially intelligent. Having thousands or millions of followers doesn't make somebody credible. And knowing powerful people doesn't automatically make somebody a good person. That's where the intelligent key becomes your filter. Ask questions, verify information, look at somebody's actions instead of just listening to their words. Pay attention to the inconsistencies and don't be afraid to walk away. Because there's a huge difference between being skeptical of everybody and being careful with everybody. I'm not telling you to go through your life trusting nobody. That's not what Tanji is about. Relationships are essential. Trust is essential. Being connected is essential. But trust should grow through consistency. And here's another principle I want you to remember. Connection creates opportunity. Intelligence protects it. Being connected may get you into the room, but being intelligent helps you determine who deserves to stay in your circle once you're there. So what does all this have to do with your success and wealth? Everything. The further you go, the more people you're going to meet, the more opportunities you're going to encounter, and the more successful you'll become, the more valuable your time, relationships, knowledge, and money become. Protect them. That doesn't mean building a wall around yourself. It means building a filter. Get connected. Meet successful people. Get into the right rooms. Bring value. Build trust. But keep your eyes open. Because the right relationship can completely change the trajectory of your life. And the wrong relationship can do exactly the same thing in the opposite direction. If there's one thing I want you to take away from this episode, it's this trust is valuable. Don't give it away without accountability. The right people can help you become more successful. They can introduce you to opportunities. They can teach you. For more Tangee content, strategies, live discussions, and access to the Tang G community, go to Tangib Podcast.com. Members can listen to the podcast, start with the Tangie Foundation, get access to Tangie Strategies and Tanji Live. And members of the Tanji Inner Circle get access to the private inner circle QA and more personalized guidance. Again, everything starts at 10g podcast.com. Thank you for listening with an open mind, and thank you for listening all the way to the end. I'll catch you on the next one. Peace.